Ironic Holiday Seeker Gifts

"Not only do I need an escape to the beach, I need to escape the beach with a book about someone escaping their life."

"Lets find another beach, this one has too much competition."

'I hate all holidays!'

The Old Lady Bobbing-Around-In-The-Ocean Classic.

'Did you say psst?.'

A Sweet Christmas Connection

'I think I'll go somewhere warm this year.'

'I think its being tapped.'

“Stop avoiding me. I know when you are sleeping. I know when you are awake.”

"I can't afford to feed you."

The Hollowdays.

Bed of Nails on Holiday

"Well, I ain't flyin' next to him!"

Happy St Pancakes Day!

"She's not a happy camper, he forgot to make the booking, someone's in for a silent night!"

"I won't be needing you this year."

'Any place that doesn't have snow.'

Santa Self Esteem.

Santa Bahama Time

'Next time make sure it's the bath plug before you pull it out.'

'Well, you could have fooled me. You look as though you're having a good time.'

Rum Pah Pum Pum!

Satellite Santa

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

'... But, if he knows when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake, isn't that an infringement of my right to privacy?'

"Somewhere a long. . . long way from the World Cup."

Women bathing at the seaside

"There are more things I'm ungrateful than grateful for. Why can't we have a holiday for that?"

Sorry, I'm too ill to come in today. More medicine please, nurse.

I never know what to get mom for Christmas. It's simple. Free shipping. I always choose something cool that she wouldn't get for herself. Oooo

"I was not consulted."

Corona virus Christmas tree

Moses Takes A Swim

'Maybe he said store the wine horizontally...'