Holiday Seeker Gifts

'On the web it clearly said, one mile from the beach.'

'We can't even sue! It's just as the brochure said - sand ,sea ,sun ,solitude... '

"No ocean views but your cabin does overlook the buffet table."

'It's St. Patrick's Day, Ms. Welk. If anyone wants me, I'll be on the greens.'

'I think I'll go somewhere warm this year.'

'Any place that doesn't have snow.'

"Somewhere with no delays? No strikes? No civil unrest? The best we can do is two weeks in Hemel Hempstead."

'You know you problem, Harold? You need to get in touch with your 'inner beach bum'.'

'Did you say psst?.'

'We'd like to get away from reality TV.'

The Old Lady Bobbing-Around-In-The-Ocean Classic.

"Have YOU claimed your PPI yet...?"

"Somewhere a long. . . long way from the World Cup."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

Happy kids running abount with a 'Schools out' banner

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

Tourists in Egypt

"Lets find another beach, this one has too much competition."

Temporarily Unavailable

"Don't forget to put some sunscreen on your tongue."

Ice Skater

"You wanted a romantic getaway, so...get away."

Summertime.

"We're going to see my family. There's an extra twenty in it for you if we never get there."

Snowman

The Airport.

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'CANNONBALL!!' - Whale tours.

Just one more choccy...

"I'd pack light if it wasn't for the shoes."

'We took a look at our passport pictures and realized we need a vacation.'

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

Merry Kissmas