Ironic Health Food Enthusiast Gifts

Mother Nature's Health Foods

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

Queen of Quinoa

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

'What are you eating now?'

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

'Diet considerations.'

'great win, kids! Let's celebrate... My treat!!'

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

"How come portion control doesn't apply to broccoli?"

The Nihilist Deli.

"And what would the, Truth-in-Advertising tribunal, want to speak to old Rudy about?"

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

"If you order from our wellness menu, you get a side of yogurt with every dish."

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

"Do you realize what the sodium content of this water is?"

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

Healthy Eating Casualties

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

"Come on, honey, try just one Goliath pea. It's organic, locally grown, and GMO free."

Newspaper headlines - Butters kills, Margarine kills.

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

Spanx Tells Me No

"Management would like you to keep in mind that the latest research indicates that everything on our 'Healthy Menu' is now unhealthy."