Ironic Diet Fan Pillows

'Well, if you're enjoying your diet plan you must be doing it wrong.'

On the back of the t-shirt...

'I've found a way to improve on light beer!'

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

You are what you eat (Nuts).

Fast Food Dieter

"I assume you're on the paleo diet."

"No matter how much gelato, pizza and tiramisu I eat, I gain weight. This Mediterranean diet just isn't working."

No, you don't need to be "gluten-free." I said "glutton-free"!

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

"I'm trying to eat more vegetarians."

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

A well-balanced meal to a kid is a candy bar in each hand.

"Hold on! A new study says those are actually bad for you."

My budgie likes Mars bars.

"Can you get on the scale please? I'm on a diet and need to monitor my food intake..."

"Everything is fat-free. So why am I still fat?"

'We'll have to be more aggressive with your diet. I'd like to try something I call 'The Carbivore''.

'Everytime there's a thaw, I lose a lot of weight.'

"...and I want you to limit yourself to 3 feeding frenzies a day."

'Congratulations. You're the world's first exercycle potato.'

'I can't use it...I can't afford the gym membership!'

'Let there be lite...er, wait. Let me try that again.'

"Be it fever or cold, Mr Goldsmith, in your case, I think we should starve them both."

"This is the latest craze - eat anything you want, anytime you want. It's called the San Andreas Plan."

Diet.

'Bottles water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!...'

Fast food

Food guide.

"Let's fight obesity - left leg up..."

'Forget about it - we'll never get a lite slop around here.'

'This exercise machine does away with the pretense of a working out. It features a dozen hooks for a hanging clothing.'

'This thing is stupid - I weigh just the same with my coat and boots OFF!'

'Trans fat will do that.'