Ironic Art Appreciators Pillows

Narcotics addiction.

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"And you can rest assured that your problem is being ignored at the very highest levels."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

65 Million Years Ago

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

"She's a miniature."

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

Caution (arrow falling from sky sign)

Wine taster with mineral water

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

Boss to employee: 'I'm downsizing your paycheck.'

'GM apples prevent Migraine'

"Why can't you be more like little Hester Prynne? She's getting straight A's."

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

"I'll never understand it. I followed the generally accepted principles of embezzling."

'Even down here we never lose our sense of humor!'

'So who's smoking?'

"Is your dog friendly?"

We pay the maximum minimum wage.

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

'Are you free at the moment?'

"No thanks. I'm not interested in any handouts."

"Can you believe those guys? We tell them absolutely, positively no further negotiations, and they stop negotiating!"

'Abstract art is supposed to look that way.' (A rather smarthy attitude in an art gallery)

We're so pleased with your twenty years work, we've decided to offer you a two year short term contract.

'I was like you once, full of ambition! AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT MEEE!'

Sugar Crunchies - Free Dental Treatment.