Investment Sensei Gifts

"Sometimes you eat the bear, Ellen. Sometimes the bear eats you."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Hollywood Sign Developers

In the Guru District

Jack of all trades

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

Mario Draghi

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

Guy has framed 'first Yuan'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Will work for ETFs

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

"Invest in technology."

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

The Shrinking Dollar.

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

You can breed these if the environment is right.

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"