Investment Gurus Gifts

Three Bear Investments, 'Too low', 'Too high', 'Just right'.

'Pep's finance' man confused and scared of 'Real estate', 'Gold' etc

'I'd recommend you put your money into rising markets, for example shoe manufacturers. My wife just bought her 568th pair!

'I'm afraid we worked it to death, sir.'

"I started my company on a shoestring and I've tripled my investment."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

Jack of all trades

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

The president's men

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio?'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

Will work for ETFs

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

The economy.

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

E.U. Banking Union.

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

"Invest in technology."