Economics Gurus Gifts

Standard & Poor

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

"The Gross National Product and the Gross Domestic Product are doing okay. It's the Gross Domestic Mojo that's going down the toilet."

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

"I feel I'm doing fine. My sense of net worth is way up this quarter."

'All I know is when it's the 'birds and bees' it's about sex; and when it's the 'bulls and bears' it's about money.'

'Globalsiation risky? How d'you mean?'

'Enter, His Royal Globalness...'

Early attempts at standardising currency.

"I wrote a letter to the Wall Street Journal saying the term 'Bear Market' makes me look like a loser, but they didn't print it."

"Wash your hands after handling these, Miss Utley -- They're toxic securities."

". . . We're being sucked into the UK national debt!"

A collective sigh of relief.

"Those eco-terrorists are going to cost us a FORTUNE!!"

Offshore tax havens.

"Thanks to my cost-cutting policies, profits are up 59%."

'I'm being denied access to the Warren Buffett within me.'

'The Dow has shot up 2.5% on positive data on housing - until five minutes from now, when it'll be interpreted differently.'

Money down the drain.

IRS. April 15th is the deadlie for filing your return, not a "best if used by" date.

"The government's finance settlement is coming out really late this year!"

"Goodbye cruel world."

Famous Pieces of Paper

Electricity Bills

"The markets seem to be a little jittery this morning."

'Ms. Clayton, we're counting on you to reverse this trend...'

'What did the fund manager say to the investment advisor?'

"Whoops! There go those darned interest rates again!"

A Second Stimulus is Coming,

Financial Bailout Required.

Sold in May and went away.

"In the land of toast the butter is spread very thin."