Economic Gurus Gifts

US Airlines on Thin Ice

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

Standard & Poor

"The Gross National Product and the Gross Domestic Product are doing okay. It's the Gross Domestic Mojo that's going down the toilet."

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

"I feel I'm doing fine. My sense of net worth is way up this quarter."

'All I know is when it's the 'birds and bees' it's about sex; and when it's the 'bulls and bears' it's about money.'

'Globalsiation risky? How d'you mean?'

'Enter, His Royal Globalness...'

"I wrote a letter to the Wall Street Journal saying the term 'Bear Market' makes me look like a loser, but they didn't print it."

A collective sigh of relief.

"Those eco-terrorists are going to cost us a FORTUNE!!"

'Sometimes, in the stillness and warmth of an afternoon sun, I can almost hear interest compounding.'

"Thanks to my cost-cutting policies, profits are up 59%."

'I'm being denied access to the Warren Buffett within me.'

'The Final Merger'

'The Dow has shot up 2.5% on positive data on housing - until five minutes from now, when it'll be interpreted differently.'

Money down the drain.

IRS. April 15th is the deadlie for filing your return, not a "best if used by" date.

Electricity Bills

"Goodbye cruel world."

'What did the fund manager say to the investment advisor?'

"The markets seem to be a little jittery this morning."

"Whoops! There go those darned interest rates again!"

'How are you getting on with the strategy for growth ?'

A Second Stimulus is Coming,

News. Year- End Economic Report. I don't want them to fine-tune the economy --- just get it in the right octave.

Fiscal Cliff Dwellers.

"Workers have obligation to limit their economic demands to make the USA more competitive!"

"In the land of toast the butter is spread very thin."

Financial Bailout Required.

"Stocks tanked in the face of positive economic news just to mess your mind, dude!"