Global Investment Guru Gifts

"Your emerging market funds submerged!"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

Jack of all trades

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

The president's men

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio?'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

The economy.

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Will work for ETFs

E.U. Banking Union.

"Invest in technology."

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.