Introspective Investigator T-Shirts

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"Sometimes I like to come here by myself and contemplate ... or just scream about you."

X-ray Psychology.

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

'You must heal yourself.'

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

He doesn't howl at the moon. He prefers to howl into the void.

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

James decided to stay in that night.

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

I wonder what they're moaning about right now?

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

Marcel Proust

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'