Introspection Seeker T-Shirts

"The world would be a better place if everyone just thought the way I do."

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

Don Quixote is Caged (Don Quixote).

Brain versus Heart in Cuba

"I should give myself up... I'm a bad habit!"

Hen counts her blessings.

Will the do-it-yourself craze ever get around to thinking?

Analyst and patient

'Your psychiatrist wants to speak to you.'

Self-Improvement/Self-Involvement

Finally, the cleansing process is working. I've not hit on a gal for give days. House of Java.net Cybercafe. I feel my head clearing. I'm able to perceive the world not in terms of romantic conquests but more richly, more broadly. I'm using more senses. I hear the sound of the espresso machine, smell the fresh scones, taste fall's aroma. Mostly, I smell the stink of my own unwashed body under this shroud. End of cleansing! About time.

How are you feeling, Al? I couldn't be happier, Dr. Kapuchnik. Gee, that's great. No, I mean I wanted to be happier, but I couldn't.

Toxic Masculinity

"Oh, I thought you meant. . . figuratively."

(If the phone rings in my office, and no one is there to hear it, does it really ring? ..... oh, and the answering machine is broken.)

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

"I'd like to be a shake-it-off kind of person, but I'm more of a cling-to-it-and-focus-on-it-until-it's-irrevocably-weaved-into-my-psyche sort of gal."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"What was I thinking?!"

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Window Treatment

"He's his own worst enemy."

Real Life/Surreal Life

Banana Split Personality

That party went well.

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

I sometimes feel spotted, but I never really feel seen.

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

Maximilian could see far away places,but he never told anyone.