Intimacy Jokester Pillows

Test dummies holding 'Kama Sutra For Dummies' manual.

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

A couple dressed as a knife and a fork

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

Wind Tunnel of Love.

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

A crab with a utility knife claw

"So yeah - This is my ideal first date."

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

'Actually, I do mind wearing your pedometer!'

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Do you think someday we'll look back on this and laugh?"

'They were all out of roses.'

William, have I ever told you you're the wings beneath my wind?

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

Consenting Adults.

"Pretty impressive for a product of a 3-D printer."

"Remember, if you enjoy this intercourse, don't forget to 'like and subscribe'."

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

"Maybe we'd kiss better if we had lips."

"My husband is missing. I haven't seen him since he started wearing camouflage clothes."

'Why can't you just think irrationally every once in a while?'

"Well, he is at the age now here the repairs are starting to happen. Very quickly the cost exceeds the benefit. You better think about a new one."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'