Friendship Jokester Pillows

'You're not much help, shorty.'

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

A couple dressed as a knife and a fork

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

Wind Tunnel of Love.

A crab with a utility knife claw

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'If I thought for one moment that you were identifying...!'

"Do you think someday we'll look back on this and laugh?"

"So yeah - This is my ideal first date."

'Actually, I do mind wearing your pedometer!'

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

'They were all out of roses.'

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

William, have I ever told you you're the wings beneath my wind?

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

"Pretty impressive for a product of a 3-D printer."

Consenting Adults.

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

"Well, he is at the age now here the repairs are starting to happen. Very quickly the cost exceeds the benefit. You better think about a new one."

"Maybe we'd kiss better if we had lips."

"My husband is missing. I haven't seen him since he started wearing camouflage clothes."

'Darling, this is my ex. You know, the one I said you were twice the man of.'

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

"If I'd known, I would've changed my vows to; Until bald and fat do we part."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"With other dates I've been on, long walks on the beach seemed like a cliche, but with you it really feels genuine."