Intimacy Humorist Gifts

"The only time I have fun in bed is when he gets cramp."

'Your beard tickles.'

"Remember, if you enjoy this intercourse, don't forget to 'like and subscribe'."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Sauvignon Bonk

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"You really ought to cut down on your scream time."

"I said I'd give you the world, didn't I?"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

"I've learned something about you tonight, Alan. You say 'chowmein' when you mean 'lomein'."

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

I think you'll find that I'm easily encouraged. For instance, the fact that the two exclamation points above your head are tempered by one question mark gives me great hope. !?!

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

Always Compatible

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."

"Well, hello there, Boo Boo. Where's Daddy?"

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!