Intimacy Humorist Gifts

"The only time I have fun in bed is when he gets cramp."

"Remember, if you enjoy this intercourse, don't forget to 'like and subscribe'."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

Sauvignon Bonk

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"I've learned something about you tonight, Alan. You say 'chowmein' when you mean 'lomein'."

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

Always Compatible

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'