Interview Warrior Gifts

'Where do I see myself in five years? If you ask one more stupid question, prison.'

'You're on the shortlist. It's between you and the bloke who's going to get the job.'

'Thanks for coming in. Whoever gets the job will call you next week and let you know our decision.'

'I don't know anything about anything, but I'm great at looking stuff up!'

"Tell us something we don't know."

'OK, I see you're highly competitive. Is there anything else you wish to add?'

"Sorry! I just don't hold up very well under intense pre-employment scrutiny!"

"That was a long and grueling interview. I was well groomed before going in."

'What's a guy got to do to get a drink around here?'

"Just when did you leave your last job?"

'Even as a two-for-one, we may not get the gig.'

'I know I've interviewed for this position last month, but since then I've hired a personal coach. I was thinking maybe a do-over interview.'

A man waiting outside a door marked Personnel

"Where do I see myself five years from now? Probably looking back at this interview to remember what I told you so I know what I should be doing."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

Exam

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

Good luck with all the revision...

Congratulations! All that cramming paid off.

Do you have any other skills?

Congratulations! All that cramming paid off.

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"I'm looking for a 'yes man' who can say 'no' without sounding negative"

'I know the answer. I just need a moment to come to grips with it.'

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

"That's nice, but do you have any references other than your Mom?"

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

"You took that news with dignity and grace. I really wanted you to spaz out."

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."

Help wanted. Various positions available.