Interview Warriors Gifts

"Can I put in a claim for interview trauma compensation?"

'Are you willing to change your name to Bob Smith?'

I haven't been hired yet.

"And what exactly made you decide you'd like a career in health and safety?"

'That's his 14th interview.'

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

'You're on the shortlist. It's between you and the bloke who's going to get the job.'

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

"Maybe this isn't the right heartless monolithic corporation for you."

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

"Put your phones on vibrate. Maybe they'll keep you awake."

'And in conclusion.'

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

This castle manager job better be for real.

'We like to find just the right slot for our people.'

'Send in the next applicant Ms Jones.'

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

"You're overqualified. Could you dumb it down a little?"

'Oh, and if you really want this job, there's one thing you shouldn't mention.'

"This position requires someone with a thick skin... Well, do you think you're up to the job, big nose?"

'This test will determinbe which of you gets the position. Who wants to jump first?'

"Last question. Where do you see yourself thirty seconds from now?"

'Then again - no pain, no gain.'

"Mr. Kennings was going to interview you for the job, until he heard you actually wanted to get paid."

"Tell us something we don't know."

'I know I've interviewed for this position last month, but since then I've hired a personal coach. I was thinking maybe a do-over interview.'

"I've got three michelin stars, two for cookery and one for turning up to the interview!"

'What's a guy got to do to get a drink around here?'

'Yes, Frank. I'm sure you can make two hundred words out of just twenty six letters.'

"Let's save some time, shall we?... Yes, no, for about five years, since I was a small boy, yes, I can start on Monday. Thanks, bye."

'Where do you see yourself five years from now?'

'Thanks for coming in. Whoever gets the job will call you next week and let you know our decision.'

"Just when did you leave your last job?"