Interview Extraordinaire Gifts

'I'm sorry, but the only person Mr. McCoy is looking to hire right now is a good criminal defense lawyer. But I'll be happy to pass you resume on to him.'

'So in what year did you graduate from the school of hard knocks?'

"I see, and other than creating havoc and terror, do you have any other job skills?"

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"Look, a bug!"

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

Party time.

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

Heading off with a packed bag

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

Joyce could certainly handle her drink!

"You inhabit the body of someone who has an impressive résumé."

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

"I'm being heavily recruited by several other companies."

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"Are all these letters of recommendation from your mother?"

'Cat job interviews.'

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

Bad Interview Technique

Your resume says you were a waiter...

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."