Interview Anxiety Conqueror Pillows

'Your first interview, Mr Jason?'

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

Evil Exams!

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

'Don't be nervous, relax...he puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like you do. Of course, his pants are tailor made and cost $600 a pair...'

"Uh-oh it's happening aain, the feeling I'm being triggered...."

Your stress is stress-related.

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

Infection Control Center. Now Hiring. I should have said "I'm not afraid of hard work" rather than "I don't mind getting my hands dirty."

Transcend Dental Medication: "Prepare to let go of the pain."

"You may have heard some very slanderous rumours about this company."

'We like to find just the right slot for our people.'

'Don't be nervous but I think we're about to go LIVE on the new system.'

"How long have you been working from home, Mr. Farley?"

'My strength lies in my ability to deny my weaknesses.'

"Will this job involve multiple choice, true and false, or essay questions?"

'We're not hiring. The company is just giving me some experience conducting interviews.'

"References? Well, I just got six references from the guys in your waiting room."

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

"Yes, I suppose attention seeking may be considered by some as an asset, but frankly we need more than that."

"Well, how can I help cure your severe hypochondria if you keep cancelling appointments due to illness?"

"Mr. Carley, would you like to begin today’s session?" "Claustrophobic's therapy session today at 2:00"

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

A candidate makes their greatest impact on an interviewer in the first few minutes...

"It's probably just stress, but let's take a look. Open up and say, ARGGGH!!!"

'Yes,I do have a question.. What kind of dental plan do you have?'

"In order to get through this, I've had to find an inner strength that I never knew I had in the medicine cabinet."

Number Phobia.