Interview Preparation Procrastinator Pillows

"How long have you been working from home, Mr. Farley?"

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

"Summarise all that's been said. I wasn't listening."

"I'll put your application on file, Mr. Brandt, but I'm quite happy with my current paperweight."

"Josh, can you call my 3:30 and let them know I'll be a little late and completely unfocused."

'1001 things to do whilst waiting to get on the internet.'

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."

"Have a seat with the other candidates for the tech position but be wary of the spit balls."

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

"You may have heard some very slanderous rumours about this company."

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

"Have you ever had one of those days when it would have been easier just to do some work?"

Don't use live interviews as rehearsals-practise and prepare.

"You're the type who'll make me prove every claim I make."

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

"You're great at hindsight, but we need someone who is more forward looking!"

"Very nice résumé. Leave a sample of your DNA with my secretary."

"I'm your exit strategy."

A candidate makes their greatest impact on an interviewer in the first few minutes...

"I'm sorry, but you wait patiently on the line for an operator. We're looking for someone who immediately pushes 3 for more options."

"I don't interview well."

'Oh, and if you really want this job, there's one thing you shouldn't mention.'

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

"References? Well, I just got six references from the guys in your waiting room."

"Clueless, malleable and not a boat-rocker - you'll go far."

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

'University of Xylongatnyefxodyl - never heard of it!'

Really Good Careers: An Equal Opportunity Employer