Interview Prep Pillows

'...it may be advisable to think of a referee other than your mother.'

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

"I'll put your application on file, Mr. Brandt, but I'm quite happy with my current paperweight."

Your salary as a research assistant is commensurate on your ability of spell, define, and delineate the work 'commensurate.'

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

"Have a seat with the other candidates for the tech position but be wary of the spit balls."

"You may have heard some very slanderous rumours about this company."

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

Don't use live interviews as rehearsals-practise and prepare.

"It says here you can think on your feet. What happens when you sit down?"

"You're the type who'll make me prove every claim I make."

"You're great at hindsight, but we need someone who is more forward looking!"

"Very nice résumé. Leave a sample of your DNA with my secretary."

"I'm sorry, but you wait patiently on the line for an operator. We're looking for someone who immediately pushes 3 for more options."

A candidate makes their greatest impact on an interviewer in the first few minutes...

'Oh, and if you really want this job, there's one thing you shouldn't mention.'

"I don't interview well."

"References? Well, I just got six references from the guys in your waiting room."

"Clueless, malleable and not a boat-rocker - you'll go far."

Recruitment Agency - Tips for getting that dream job.

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

"Yes, I suppose attention seeking may be considered by some as an asset, but frankly we need more than that."

'Sorry, but I don't think you're right for our company.'

'University of Xylongatnyefxodyl - never heard of it!'

Really Good Careers: An Equal Opportunity Employer

"So, Ms. Mayfly. Where do you see yourself in five years?"