Interstellar Travel Gifts

Desert Planet

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

"You left this on our ship."

"This year we decided to vacation on the 3rd rock."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Houston, we have a problem."

An astronaut fishes in volcanoes on another planet.

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

How we imagined A.I. in 1977. . . How it's looking today. . .

'Sometimes George likes to pretend he's an astronaut.'

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

"Take me to your mechanic."

'Excuse me could you please direct me to the nearest toilet?'

Star Wars vs Star Trek

When the ship needed to go faster than Warp Speed, the crew ate lots of pungent beans.

"Don't be sad, Bud. These decisions are so political."

"I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I think I'd rather be a billionaire space tourist."

"I can never understand these foreign crop circles."

Alien embryo growing in earth.

"No, you're in the Milky Way galaxy."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"Sorry...but until we fix the cloaking device, this will have to do."

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

Save Our Universe

An alien in his space ship sees a space sign that says 'You are here'

'I'm going to Venus. He's going to Mars.'

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"If you lied about where you are from, what else have you lied about?"