Interpersonal Dynamics Fan Pillows

"Could you come to the door, Betty? There's a guy here who wants my opinion on something."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

"That’s ridiculous! What makes you think you were adopted?"

A child as a pet substitute.

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'So, you're an organ-grinder's monkey? A professional beggar? Is that how you intend to support my daughter?'

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

"We need to have a serious talk."

'You are right, honey, it's raining too much. It's not the best day to visit my mom.'

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

'You can't keep rescuing him. If he really wants help, book him an appointment.'

You never caw.

Bears: 'Mummy, mummy can I sleep over at Jessica's this winter.'

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

Well, obviously we can't live with my parents

'I'm leaving my wife because of another woman. Her mother.'

'Yoy know perfectly well WHICH corner, Jamie!'

The Shepherd's Staff. . .

"I thought we agreed we wouldn't tell your Dad about the Easter Bunny till next year."

"...and then while I was at soccer practice they moved house."

"You call that worrying?"

"Think about it: Toby's the only ram here, so we have to be half brothers!"

'It's good, Timmy, but it's not refrigerator good.'

The Adventures of Morton - Personality Conflict

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'

Disraeli Cements his Leadership over Conservatives

"Daddy can't help you, son. Daddy's a product of the 'me' generation."