Internet Professional Gifts

'Somebody posted his hidden agendas on the Internet.'

'It's all right, Dad -- it's a Buddhist chat room!'

This is Gary. He's a web designer.

Chavez: Internet Censorship.

Due to greater bandwidth and higher download speeds, your 15 minutes of fame will be reduced to 7 seconds of celebrity.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

The Computer Bore

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Online form - Submit.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'Here's MY information highway!'

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

'Who changed the password to 'arf'?'

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'