I.t. Professionals Gifts

"Nobody really knows what goes on in there...we're a faith-based organization."

"I've got a really good feeling about this new I.T. guy we just hired!"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"My email is down... talk to me."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

The Computer Bore

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

Online form - Submit.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

21st century water cooler conversations.

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Out and In.

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

The Googler

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'