Information Technology Professional Gifts

After paying the IT consultants we didn't have enough left for proper laptops!

'I know you're a people person - that's why we have to let you go.'

"He's been using the new virtual reality data viewer and climbing bar graphs..."

'What it comes down to is this thing is capable of telling us a lot more than we really want to know.'

'Do me a favor and upload your notes from last week and send me a hyperlink ... hello?'

The smart building celebrates counting its one millionth person.

STRIP Hambone: 'If you don't know what you are doing, do it neatly!'

Danger - Quicksand: 'It's much quicker now we've got broadband.'

'A couple of years ago, nobody knew anything. Now, everybody wants to know everything.'

"For you new prisoners here, the warden will only let us use bar graphs on all of our prison data projects."

"Unfortunately, our guest of honor can't be here tonight. I've just been told that he never actually existed, and is the product of a 1989 computer error. And isn't that just like Bert? Humble and self-effacing to the very end!"

"Nice new car...but portion control should apply to information technology."

Amplifying Information

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"My email is down... talk to me."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

The Computer Bore

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Online form - Submit.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'