Ict Professional Gifts

"There is no military solution, General, so we're disabling the enemy with a computer virus."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

The Computer Bore

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Online form - Submit.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

'Here's MY information highway!'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

'Who changed the password to 'arf'?'

'Being offshored isn't exactly what I expected.'

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'