I.t. Specialist Gifts

"O.K., I'm good for I.T.—how about spreadsheets, anybody here good at spreadsheets?"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"My email is down... talk to me."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

In the Guru District

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

The Computer Bore

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

Online form - Submit.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

21st century water cooler conversations.

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

Out and In.

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'