It Support Specialist Gifts

'Hello tech support? When I simultaneously press CTRL, TAB, ALT, NUM Lock, and Page Up keys, my fingers hurt.'

The Dilemma of Computer Support Terminology vs. Layman Terminology: 'Okay, I've put it in the recycle bin, now what?'

'For an English translation of what the tech support person says, press 2...'

"You fix it by buying a new one."

Gutenberg invents the paper jam.

"What happens if you hit escape?"

'For the 80th time, you cannot get rid of viruses by pouring bleach down the back of your computer!'

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

'We need to upgrade our tech help from my 12 year old nephew.'

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

"That's Bill, from tech support."

Ask not for whom the photocopier jams, it jams for thee.

'We were going to get rid of the superbug but he's the only one who understands the new IT system.'

'Hello, technical support? Which one is the 'any key'?'

'My search engine got lost somewhere.'

"Your call is important to us - but not important enough...."

'Ah, here's your problem - all this spaghetti is real spaghetti.'

Child Support Agency - 'Can you help us get our computers to work?'

'Hello? IT? Yes, there's been a breach in security and I'm concerned about unauthorised access to my personal details.'

'What the...?!' ( The page cannot be displayed )

'Sir, you need special help to fix this problem. Please hold the line whilst I put you through to our exorcist.'

TECHNICAL SUPPORT, 'Have you tried pounding it with your fist?'

They want to clean my hard drive...

"As a last resort Tom's trying a mind-meld!"

"Now the geeks hold all the power. They're the ones who know how to forge a parent's e-signature."

'I suppose you tried to fix it yourself.'

'This is Charles, our IT guy. He's cutting edge. He was an early adopter of the mouse pad.'

'We're only ten tech support calls away from another free pizza!'

Computer tech support sacred offering

'Well, now, let's just shine the light of common sense and linear thinking on this little computer problem of yours, shall we?' 'I'm not THAT desperate yet.'

"Why do you call your photocopier 'Bob Marley'?"

"Hello?"

The printer is out of ink and in need of a hug.