Internet Specialist Gifts

"You've got web feet"

'It's Jopnes Sir! He's showing off his ballpoint pen again!'

"I'm going to be a twitter troll when I grow up."

"The guru us out. That's a link to Wikipedia."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

21st century water cooler conversations.

Out and In.

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

The Googler

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

'Can our software do that?'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

'You know too much,'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

Mac OS 20

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

"Uh-oh...it's starting to delegate work to me."

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

"Why do you need so many computers?" "One for billing, one for stock control, one for human resources, one for financial management..."

Early Adopter...Early Opt-Outer

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."