Internet Professional Pillows

'Yeah, very impressive - but can you improve my website's Search Engine Ranking?'

'Somebody posted his hidden agendas on the Internet.'

'It's all right, Dad -- it's a Buddhist chat room!'

This is Gary. He's a web designer.

Chavez: Internet Censorship.

Due to greater bandwidth and higher download speeds, your 15 minutes of fame will be reduced to 7 seconds of celebrity.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"My email is down... talk to me."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

The Computer Bore

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Online form - Submit.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

'Here's MY information highway!'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"