Internet Security Professional Pillows

"This little song is made up of all my passwords. Hope you like it."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

"Prove you're not a human Select the squares with a bike Skip"

Watchdog on Holiday

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

'We're out of duct tape.'

"I'm not worried about identity theft. Who'd want to be me?"

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

"A hacker logged into my fitness tracker and stole all my steps."

"I didn't consider it hacking. I thought of it as getting a sneak preview of their content."

"Your call may be monitored by the CIA, NSA, Russians, Chinese, space aliens..."

Robot Robber

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

"You go pillage. I can loot from here."

"Remember when they used to call it the 'private sector?'"

"They'll never guess how we stole their data."

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

Turnkey Totalitarianism

21st century Safe Sex - protecting against face-recognition software.

"You've got web feet"

"I.T. says these new laptops they gave us come loaded with all the latest viruses."

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'

"Someone hacked into his account. It's the third time this month he's renamed his cat."

'Computer crime' 'To see your belongings visit our website www,burgular.com'

"I can't log-on. Some-one disabled cookies."

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

'Success! I've just hacked into a supposedly squirrel-proof birdfeeder!'

'But what about the 4th Amendment?'