Internet Humor Pillows

My name is Fifi, I'm an eighteen year old lingerie model,,,

'Thanks to the Web, I finally met an eligible bachelor - eligible for parole in three years.'

ALERT: Lame joke attempting to enter your inbox!

'We've got stop seeing each other - my wife is getting suspicious!'

"Sure, buddy, I'll visit your website, but I won't accept your cookies."

"You look a lot different than your profile picture."

"'Lone Wolf"? No babe, you've misread it: my online profile reads 'Love Wolf'!"

"The postman's been, have you been buying on the dark web again?"

"You wrote no hate posts, no xenophobic comments, no sex jokes, no insults, and no conspiracy theories since becoming a member."

....What if pets had social media?

'No, the Harlem Shake isn't on our value menu.'

'getlost@youloser.com is that your real email address?'

Man: 'What the...?!' (Internet Spam comes out of a can of spam to the horror of the purchaser.)

'We met over the internet.'

'Richard III is spamming us again.'

"Oh baby... oh baby... oh baby..."

"How do you think that makes Gail feel, knowing her only dog is posting naked pictures of herself all over the internet?"

'How do you plan on attracting visitors to an antisocial website?'

"It killed on social media yet you say it's horrible?" "Lousy is lousy."

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"Did you get my tweet?"

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

Chasebook

"She looks just like in your photos."

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

Advertising on the internet.

Facebook For Dogs.

"I'm trying to grow a cancel culture – but it keeps dividing and dividing until there's nothing left."

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

"Honey, our pop-up blocker stopped working again."

"The internet without cat pictures? No way! Make a realistic wish like peace on earth, justice for all, everlasting life, sane politicians..."