Internet Humor Lovers Pillows

ISIS threatened to attack the Mall of America. That's so 1990s. What? Most people don't shop in malls anymore. Most of us shop online from home or from our phones. Someone should tell them the shopper-threatening business just isn't what it used to be. You're not taking them seriously enough. Wake me when they figure out how to send hordes of miniaturized men into my iPhone.

'It's amazing what you can get on e-Bay these days.'

'I've always felt safe shopping online.'

'The poor shlubb -- his country still only has dial-up.'

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

Chasebook

'Look dear, he's burning his first illegal download to rewritable dvd'

"I have to give you credit. You're a pit bull and you're nice on and offline."

"Honey, our pop-up blocker stopped working again."

"It says 'Click here to enlarge.'"

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

>Enter new password: BEEF STEW >Password not stroganoff.

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

Blues for now.

Internet Shoplifting

"After she ran that clip of me getting a bath,... I posted this one of her stepping out of the shower."

"We're having a problem naming him. All the domain names we like are already taken!"

'I'm just surfing the web.'

Spam.

Internet wedding - 'Apparently, you get a 40% discount if you marry on-line...'

'Oh no! We're being spammed again!'

"It killed on social media yet you say it's horrible?" "Lousy is lousy."

Amateur Spam.

'If I do decide to get a second opinion, can I get it at your blog?'

"I made that video while doped up on catnip. That's why I'm warning you to stay away from drugs."

M.D. We call it "MySpace Wrist." Stop taking pictures of yourself.

I told you – people just love cat pictures.

"How do you think that makes Gail feel, knowing her only dog is posting naked pictures of herself all over the internet?"

"Before we go any further, I must warn you that this is not a secure network."

'Well you know the old saying... if you can't beat 'em you can always google someone who can.'

'I'm doing a google search to see if I can find someone to open the side door.'

Spam on the Menu at Internet Cafe.

"I've been toiling for months to write the great American tweet."

"My ears are burning - Somebody must be blogging about me."