Online Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'I got downsized after the king subscribed to that online joke service.'

I know I'm not what you expected. You've been catfished."

If Leonardo Da Vinci had posted a copy of the Mona Lisa online after painting it.

A man searches for women on the internet.

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"Did you get my tweet?"

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"That's the trouble with cute kittens - they attract a lot of traffic."

"She looks just like in your photos."

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

"I suppose you think that's funny."

Twitter that!

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

Advertising on the internet.

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

Facebook For Dogs.

"Can you take a video of me attacking the garbage so I can post it on Instagram?"

"The internet without cat pictures? No way! Make a realistic wish like peace on earth, justice for all, everlasting life, sane politicians..."

"Honey, our pop-up blocker stopped working again."

"It says 'Click here to enlarge.'"

"Just right click, save as, and now you own the complete works of William Shakespeare."

"Google gets thousands of requests each day to erase links. Most of them seem to go back to my website."

"There is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. Lol. Winky face."

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"

I've founded my own religion. Of course you have, Rudy. It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths. If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted. What are the central tenets of your religion? A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation.

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

"Our website design could be described as "organic"... in the sense that people often compare it to poop."

"It's great the way that computer algorithms allow the internet to feed me with opinions that reinforce the ones I've already got - all on my phone!"