Internet Gambler Gifts

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

'He's taken to playing poker on the net.'

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

Dog in casino.

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

Casino. Keno. $$$. Win. Cashier. He sure wins a lot! He's "Keno Savvy."

"This lockdown is GREAT! - We can spend all day on our computers, eating takeaway junk food and watching crap TV while gambling on our iphones!"

Wayne Krasnicky - unlucky gambler and unlucky in love.

Stockmarket investor's trays 'Up' and 'Down'.

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

STRIP Hambone: Betting on horse racing with the company payroll

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

"I said, can you hear me now...?!"

'I'm going to refer you to a doctor. You seem to have developed immunity to winning stocks.'

Test Today. I didn't pass the test but I did beat the point spread.

"In the ring, kid. We want you to take a fall in the ring."

'I thought she'd never leave.'

'Well, Dad said he'd take me to the zoo, but the only animals were horses running around a track!'

Bought Low, Sold Lower.

"I got the idea from a pair of dice."

Net Granny

Fantasy Football Betting Pool

"I'm going to the house what England winning the World Cup, luckily the house doesn't belong to me."

'I can't even remember what I had for breakfast. How do you expect me to remember another bloody password!?'

The Las Vegas Oddsmakers

'You say that one day you win and the next day you lose? Why don't you bet on alternate days?'

'So Bob says to me, he says, 'steroid are the only way I can compete at the pro level'. I didn't have the nerve to tell him it has no effect in poker.'

'He's a plumber, yet you bet him he couldn't break 100, using a plunger as his putter?'

'Dude, I know the building is on fire, but I'm gambling online, and I'm on a winning streak. I can't leave now.'

Vending machines at work: Snacks, Coffee, Glimmer of Hope

'Look at the bright side, it's better to have loved money and lost than never to have invested at all.'

Game Of Chance and Game of Skill.

"The DOW will reach 100,000. What else do you want to hear?"

"Why are you using your phone during the match?"