Internet Exploration Gifts

People told me virtual dating was safe!

"Dear Harry, I think your blog is a bit too interactive. Please write."

"Just as I thought Brian... Cybercondria."

Evolution.

'Who changed the password to 'arf'?'

"Just one more site!" "I'm totally, like, in control!" "I can quit anytime I feel like it..."

WiFi Signals

"Mum! - T.S. Eliot - 'Humankind cannot bear much reality'."

Internet.

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

'After researching our dream vacation online with reviews, commentaries, we cams and pictures, we felt we'd been there and didn't need the trip!'

Alternative Medicine

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

The new Physics

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

"I may have been the runt of the litter, but online I'm the alpha dog."

'I told you not to look up your ailments on the internet' - computer screen reads 'You have 3 days to live',

"Do you have a link I can click on that removes me from all future conversations with you?"

"Error 404: Brain not found"

'You see, I didn't lie, the Internet is full of puppy and kitten videos: We could make a fortune!'

"We met the old fashioned way – online, in a chat room."

"That was before I found this amazing new way to earn $$$ working from home."

"Social media makes it impossible to see, hear or speak no evil."

"The Internet puts the world at your finger tips."

"Yes, you did close some of your tabs. However, you still have 1,894 open. You're a tab hoarder."

I'd like a second opinion on your self-diagnosis - So a random guy from the waiting room is googling your symptoms.

"Waldo starts a GoFindMe."

"If this is secret information the government doesn't want us to know, how come we can read about it on facebook?"

"What a disappointment. When you said your dad was a troll, I thought he'd be living under a bridge."

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"Today we learned how to cross the ts and dot the coms."