Internet Communication Pillows

"I gotta log off, guys - I just encountered some malicious spyware."

'Judy, we need to talk. Would you meet me in a chat room tonight?'

"So like, it's so cool to finally meet you in person."

Cyberspace Romance

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Lynching on social media

"My email is down... talk to me."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

'How fast can you hype?'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Campaign for Plain English

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'