Internet Business Gifts

e-procurement

At the E-Business convention...What you need to know...what you'd rather hear.

"I'm leaving you, Reginald, your selling things on the internet has gone too far!"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Now that I have your attention...'

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

Robot Parts $5

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."