Internet Business Gifts

e-procurement

At the E-Business convention...What you need to know...what you'd rather hear.

"You're too late. I already sold it on e-bay."

"I'm leaving you, Reginald, your selling things on the internet has gone too far!"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Now that I have your attention...'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."