Internet Business Owner Gifts

'Someday we can be the Wink Martindale of web hosts.'

'I have repented my new economy ways, will work for money'.

'Looks like the income off of our site has went from passive to comatose.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'That's our mission statement.'

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'Office' block tightening it's belt

6 Brothers Falafel

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Go team!

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

'We're like family. I look out for them. They look out for me.'

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"Some day, son, all this will be yours. ... Actually, you know what? You can have it now."