Online Business Owner Gifts

'Please tell me these are NOT the outcome of the e-procurement for the new signs contract!'

'You don't like my metatags?' - 'All you've done is written 'bananas' four hundred times.'

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

"If you send these people $50 they;ll show you how to make money off the net!"

'They say content is king, but right now my king has no subjects.'

Food Chain: Online Retail, Big Box Stores, Chain Stores, Mom & Pop Stores.

Shop. And always make sure free shipping in included. Shop class in the 21st century.

'Temple of Dot.com/Doom.'

"There's tumbleweed coming out of your computer screen. Now do you believe your website is like a ghost town?"

'Actually your site isn't one in a million. According to Alexa, it's more like 1 in 2.5 million.'

"All this mold is a good sign that our marketing content is getting a little stale."

"Henry decided to float his online business..."

"Holy cats. I finally sold something."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'That's our mission statement.'

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

6 Brothers Falafel

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"