Internet Age Thinker Gifts

"In the future, everyone will have privacy for fifteen minutes."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

The Googler

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

Fishbowl rebellion.

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

Downloads.

"We no longer have to hide. Bigfoot hunters now only search for us online. It's going to be lonely around here."

'Can you just send the digital copy?'

'All dogs have 4 legs. Tabby has 4 legs. But I'm just a kid, so I don't have to think logically.'

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

"If you prayed to Google instead of God, you might get a constructive response."

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

Please stand by...I have temporarily lost my reason.

"Just remember, kid...whether you post on Facebook, Twitter or YouTube...it's all show biz."

To get past the gates of Heaven you have to now enter an internet style password

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

'I think I'll wait for the movie.'

After the summer holidays

''The Thinker' is an outdated concept.'

I'm ego surfing right now, looking up my name on different search engines.

"Gramps, you were alive before everyone knew what you were doing on social media... What was that called?" "Bliss!"

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending" yourself on Facebook."

Moses comes down the mountain with the first silicon chip.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help the Google?"

"Free why-fi.”

"Embarrassing things that happen to you in the bedroom stay in the bedroom. . . and on facebook."