Intergalactic Doctor T-Shirts

Doctors without borders, gravity, or air.

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

"Take me to your mechanic."

Science fiction fans on other planets

"Remember when we kicked him off Mars?"

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

Dancing with the Star Wars

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

'Kids, today, Xerf brought in a planet that he found. Now if we look at it closely under the microscope, you can still see it's inhabitants scrambling around.'

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

"What the hell, sweetheart―if you want it, it's yours!"

Newborn Cosmonaut

"Let's f**k up Mars!"

Mars probe discovers life similar to earth.

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

Christmas on Other Planets.

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

"Hold on - I need to tell the credit card company I'm going on a trip."

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

"What gear are we in, biscuit?"

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

An astronaut parties with aliens on the wing of his spaceship.

Woah, This was well worth swapping my flying saucer for!

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

"Take us to Disneyworld then, if there's time, to your leader."

'Well, so much for our legendary ability to eviscerate cattle with surgical precision...'

'Well, that's how we mix martinis around here.'

"Shoulda brought the weed."

The solar system is replaced by sports balls.

"Remember everybody, this is planet Earth, so whatever you do, don't drink the water!"

"Did you bring more cars?"