Intergalactic Doctor Pillows

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

"Take me to your mechanic."

"Remember when we kicked him off Mars?"

Dancing with the Star Wars

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

Science fiction fans on other planets

'Kids, today, Xerf brought in a planet that he found. Now if we look at it closely under the microscope, you can still see it's inhabitants scrambling around.'

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

"What the hell, sweetheart―if you want it, it's yours!"

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

Newborn Cosmonaut

Mars probe discovers life similar to earth.

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

"What gear are we in, biscuit?"

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

"Hold on - I need to tell the credit card company I'm going on a trip."

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

An astronaut parties with aliens on the wing of his spaceship.

'Well, that's how we mix martinis around here.'

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

'Well, so much for our legendary ability to eviscerate cattle with surgical precision...'

"Shoulda brought the weed."

Woah, This was well worth swapping my flying saucer for!

The solar system is replaced by sports balls.

"Remember everybody, this is planet Earth, so whatever you do, don't drink the water!"

"Did you bring more cars?"

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'