Intergalactic Economist Pillows

'I invest in emerging markets.'

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"Take me to your mechanic."

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

"What the hell, sweetheart―if you want it, it's yours!"

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

"What gear are we in, biscuit?"

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

"Let's f**k up Mars!"

"Hold on - I need to tell the credit card company I'm going on a trip."

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

Christmas on Other Planets.

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

Woah, This was well worth swapping my flying saucer for!

'You just can't win. I'm getting charged a ridiculous service fee, since we're in an outer stellar market, using a non-galaxy ATM machine!'

"Shoulda brought the weed."

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

"Take us to Disneyworld then, if there's time, to your leader."

'Well, that's how we mix martinis around here.'

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

The solar system is replaced by sports balls.

"Remember everybody, this is planet Earth, so whatever you do, don't drink the water!"

Doctors without borders, gravity, or air.

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

"Did you bring more cars?"

"Let's find a planet with a better rating."

Pentagon Science Contest: 'It's already an intergalactic spaceship that was sent here over a million years ago.'

"Are we there yet?"

"Let us recall the parable of Jesus turning the other tentacle."

"Oh the little green men are from the planet Thargon, we're the big blue men from Zefflon 8."

'Good afternoon, Earthling -- I represent the 'Encyclopedia Galactica,' and....'