Interest Rate Juggler Gifts

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

Mortgage Dept. Yes, your loan is an A.R.M., but now we need a leg too.

Financial Advisor. What I have is a conflict of interest - the interest on my mortgage, my car loan, my credit cards.

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

"Everything's gone up."

Born to raise interest rates.

'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'

Fries and kids

'The market shifted on me.'

'Wait a minute....!

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

'I need affordable daycare now!'

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

'Congratulations! And please give your parents this receipt for $148 thousand.'

The stock market sky is falling.

'Are you good with decimals? Our certificate of deposit is currently paying 0.025%.'

'It may seem we're sinking deeper into debt, but really we're just experiencing a quarter of negative growth.'

Money mangagement see-saw.

'If the universe and everything in it is expanding, how come our budget gets shrunk all the time?'

Graduating students asking for cash donations.

'The hospital needs to cut its drug budget...Mrs Miggins will be seeing what she can do for the Oncology department with hot twigs and frogspawn...'

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

"Since both of us believe in reincarnation, what if I pay you all the money I owe you in the next life?"

Finance Co., Refinance Co.

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

'I'm push come to shove. . .'

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

'There's not much of an incentive after taxes.'

TELLER, 'Thirty-seven dollars? -- you call THAT overdrawn?'

It doesn't matter if our house is made out of bricks, we've got a sub-prime mortgage!