Interest Rate Sleuth Gifts

"I don't know a damn thing about monetary policy,but I know what I like."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

Born to raise interest rates.

"Squawk! Interest rates are going negative!"

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

"Oh, him? He's the guy who changes the interest rate when it's set by the fed."

'We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate.'

'Are you good with decimals? Our certificate of deposit is currently paying 0.025%.'

'Of course we have to learn decimals. How else will we be able to compare bank interest rates.'

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

Making borrowing easier

Finance Co., Refinance Co.

"Don't forget — it's good to give, but even better to get back."

'There's no interest on your purchase for a year. Then we become VERY interested in your balance after that.'

Bank of England Base Rates.

Bank. I'm getting zero percent on my savings! We've reached the point of no return.

"According to my actuary tables, your loan will outlive you."

'Here's a hundred bucks -- now, you give me $101.37.'

'My accounts aren't insured, but it's the risk I take for higher interest rates.'

Devil-may-care loans.

"I'm here to pay off the last loan installment!"

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!

Bankers waking up from cryo-sleep to explain the Fed's interest rate hike to you.

'I'd think that after a $800 billion bailout, you could do better than 1.2% for 11 months.'

"If a higher interest rate is a sign of a stronger economy, you must think I'm golden."

"We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate."

Financial Advisor. What I have is a conflict of interest - the interest on my mortgage, my car loan, my credit cards.

"Your money was working for you, but it suddenly quit and now it's working for me!"

"Is that a fixed-rate scowl or is it adjustable to the current interest rate?"

"Must you do that every time I say interest rates are bound to rise?"

'What's your not-quite-so prime rate?'

"Well Wendy, results were mixed this week - interest rates edged up, while hte lowest common denominator was down. Again."