Interest Rate Jester Gifts

"What did you get for Christmas?"

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

"If a higher interest rate is a sign of a stronger economy, you must think I'm golden."

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

'All right, gentlemen, this is the current picture of our growth industry!'

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

Investments.

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

"Now, where was I?"

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

"Oh, him? He's the guy who changes the interest rate when it's set by the fed."

'We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate.'

'Are you good with decimals? Our certificate of deposit is currently paying 0.025%.'

'Of course we have to learn decimals. How else will we be able to compare bank interest rates.'

'I bet he gets a better rate of interest than me!'

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

Making borrowing easier

In case of stock market crash break glass.

Finance Co., Refinance Co.

'There's no interest on your purchase for a year. Then we become VERY interested in your balance after that.'

'Slaug-ter house? I wonder what that is. C'mon, I'll race you!'

"Don't forget — it's good to give, but even better to get back."

Med. Soc Sec. Can we agree on anything to reduce the deficit other than a bake sale?

Man ironing out a line graph.

'Well, Sylvester, I think we'll show a profit this quarter now that we've eliminated our overloaded payroll.'

Economic Think Tank. Some of my data says the economy is getting better and some says it's getting worse! So just report that the economy is humming along but you're not sure what tune it's playing.

'Boy, are the markets getting sensitive, anymore.'