Interest Rate Grumbler Gifts

'Grumbling about interest rates' account

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

Born to raise interest rates.

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

'We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate.'

'Are you good with decimals? Our certificate of deposit is currently paying 0.025%.'

'Of course we have to learn decimals. How else will we be able to compare bank interest rates.'

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

Finance Co., Refinance Co.

"Don't forget — it's good to give, but even better to get back."

Bank of England Base Rates.

Devil-may-care loans.

"According to my actuary tables, your loan will outlive you."

'Here's a hundred bucks -- now, you give me $101.37.'

'My accounts aren't insured, but it's the risk I take for higher interest rates.'

"I'm here to pay off the last loan installment!"

Bank. I'm getting zero percent on my savings! We've reached the point of no return.

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!

Bankers waking up from cryo-sleep to explain the Fed's interest rate hike to you.

'I'd think that after a $800 billion bailout, you could do better than 1.2% for 11 months.'

"If a higher interest rate is a sign of a stronger economy, you must think I'm golden."

"We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate."

Financial Advisor. What I have is a conflict of interest - the interest on my mortgage, my car loan, my credit cards.

"I don't know a damn thing about monetary policy,but I know what I like."

'Why does the phone always have to ring when I'm out of the bath?!'

"Your money was working for you, but it suddenly quit and now it's working for me!"

"Must you do that every time I say interest rates are bound to rise?"

"Great news! The Fed possibly confirmed that a possible rate hike is possibly possible!"

'What's your not-quite-so prime rate?'

"Well Wendy, results were mixed this week - interest rates edged up, while hte lowest common denominator was down. Again."

'Usury' is not a pretty word, Mr. Williams.