Intensive Care Unit Staff Gifts

"Pay attention, 'switch it off switch it on again' does not apply to the life support machines."

"Hi, we're Intensive Care Bears."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

Dancing Doctor

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

Happy Birthday to you.

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"This will be a tricky operation."

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'